This is a good song…it’s pretty old, so I’m surprised we haven’t sang this song yet in GT!

Evermore

Verse1

LOST FOR

Many of us are still a little stuck in post-Broken Syndrome. I suppose it’s natural since we’ve invested so much time in this for the last 2 months and suddenly having our Tuesdays and Sundays free is kinda strange. I think the actors, Yen, Karen and I will slowly get over this and move on with our lives =). In fact, conversations between Kenneth and Kim had been interspersed with dialogue from the play: “Our phoneline is dead. DEAD!!!“

So anyways, as we let nature takes her course and bring us back to normality, just thought I’d share a bit on the writer of the theme song of Broken, In Christ Alone. This was from a mail sent to me from Kenneth.

Michael English: Through It All

By Chris Carpenter
CBN.com Program Director

CBN.com – “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate.”

– The Parable of the Lost Son, Luke 15:24

In the early 1990’s, Michael English was on top of the gospel music world. A charismatic stage performer, his strong, resonant voice warmed the hearts of so many who listened to his music. But something wasn’t right. The singer who got his start in a family gospel quartet and parlayed his immense talent into a spot in the legendary Gaither Vocal Band, was having an affair.With his popularity soaring due to the release of “In Christ Alone”, Michael knew something had to change.So, within hours of winning four Dove Awards, the pinnacle of the gospel music industry, Michael English announced to the world that he was having an affair.Without music as his anchor, Michael’s life spiraled out of control, lost to a world of infidelity, drunkenness, and drug addiction. It took him nearly a decade but he eventually climbed out of the abyss and restored his life.Michael chronicles his fall from grace and subsequent road to recovery in his new book “The Prodigal Comes Home” (with Lynn Vincent). It is a gritty, harrowing tale of infidelity, divorce, drug addiction, homelessness, and a forgiving and just God.CBN.com Program Director Chris Carpenter recently sat down with Michael to discuss the unflattering details of his downfall, his difficult recovery, and how God gives second chances to those who seek His forgiveness.

There is no easy way to do this so let’s jump right into it. Thirteen years ago you seemed to have the world by the tail – a major label music deal, strong record sales, a pile of Dove Awards. You were on top of the world. You had it all. Then it all fell apart. What went wrong for you?

You know what? I used to beat around the bush and say, well, I just kind of messed up. The truth is I took my eyes off of Jesus. I grew up in a Christian home, going to church, singing in a Gospel quartet, I was always in church, and it never stopped up until that moment (announcing he was having an affair with another Christian singer, Marabeth Jordan). It just kind of became like an everyday occurrence. Just get up and play the role. I had pretty much stopped gaining ground on my Christianity. I wasn’t growing in anything. I guess you could say I was pretty much going backwards. I got too wrapped up in this whole big machine (gospel music industry). A lot of people will ask and say things about it but I don’t think I was egotistical and that I could not do any wrong. I was smart enough to know I could. But at the same time I felt like I could – I don’t know what I felt except that I was too comfortable where I was. I didn’t put on the full armor of God.

When you were in that lifestyle and all of this stuff was going on, did you ever think you would get caught? Did you want to get caught?

You know what? I never really thought I would get caught. I think the bottom line was – sometimes when I think back that just coming right out and admitting to all of this the day after the Dove Awards and a week after I found out (Marabeth was pregnant) – I believe there is 80 percent of me that believes I was just ready for something to explode – or I just wanted to get it out and see what happens, see where the cards would fall. I was just tired of where I was. I was tired of not being happy where I was. I was tired of reaching and going somewhere else and trying to find happiness somewhere else. That made things even worse with the affair and everything. So, I think it was a cry for help. I really do.

When all of that was going on, how did you justify your actions every day?

As far as the affair, that wasn’t something I was used to doing. It started happening on the Hope Tour and while that was still going on it was awkward for me. It wasn’t the type of thing where you think this is great and nobody knows. It was hard but you know what? You can’t grow up in a Christian home, a Christian world, a Christian environment and not be convicted about something that you know is wrong. You just can’t. But it becomes easier when you do it more and more. It was just one of those times of falling back that I didn’t try to find my way out.

What would you describe as the lowest point for you in all that you have been through? There must be a moment somewhere along the way where you just bottomed out emotionally.

There were several of those moments. One of the biggest was when I opened the door to a knock and there was badge in my face. It was a policeman who had a warrant to search my house for drugs. This is because I had become addicted to pain killers. That was probably one of the lowest points I have ever been in. And I am telling you there is nothing worse than having that feeling in your stomach that is just purely fear that you could be handcuffed and taken to jail. I had never even thought about being in trouble with the police. The worst thing for me had been a speeding ticket. That scared me.

So what was the turning point? What you just described was the bottoming out period. What was it that re-focused you and started the healing process?

It started one night when I was sitting on a couch and I had taken so much medicine over a period of weeks that I couldn’t wear my rings because I was so swollen. I remember my feet being so swollen that I couldn’t get my shoes on. My legs were getting numb. I was a mess. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I didn’t take showers.

That is when I heard two sentences. The first one was, ‘Is this the way you want it to end?’ The other one was, ‘Is this what you want your daughter to see in the morning?’ I still can’t say if that was God saying you are going to be dead in the morning or God saying He was taking His hands off my life. I just know that I didn’t want to mess around with it. I just knew there was a chance that I might not be able to come back from this. That was in 2001.

You just mentioned God. Where was your faith in all of this? How was your relationship with Jesus Christ during this dark period you have been describing?

Well, when I got into detox I took my Bible with me. Normally, at that time I would not have taken it with me. But I took my Bible with me because I really felt like I was going to be in a really bad place and I knew the only person I could go to was God. And I think all those years it just became a part of life to get up and sing and raise my hand and to do this. It was just motions. So, I got in there (rehab) and it was the hardest thing I ever did. One day I started trying to read the Word and I called a pastor friend of mine. He gave me some scriptures to read. I remember being in such a terrible place that I had even called my mother to come get me. She said no. She knew that if she had come for me that I would have ended up worse off than I was before. I started reading the Bible more and I definitely started praying. I was trying to distinguish the difference between what God was trying to tell me here. So, it was really hard to concentrate on anything but just trying to get better. But after that I began to try to start understanding and learning more about why I am in this place. Not hating God but understanding and knowing that as long as I am in His will that things will be ok. It took me a while to get it all figured out but it was a process. Little things would start happening. God would start opening doors here and there.

When did you start performing again – after the affair and drug rehab?

I stopped performing but went to TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) and hosted a show for them. I had to make a living somehow so TBN gave me some money and a free place to live. I interviewed people. That is how I survived for a while. I stopped being on the road. Then, I decided to start doing concerts again. Even then, I probably shouldn’t have been out performing. There were many times that I did concerts when I definitely shouldn’t have been because I was on pain killers doing concerts. I kept telling myself, ‘I’ve got an addiction here and I am going to overcome this.’ So, I continued performing. But I couldn’t continue doing it. I had too big of a hole in my life. It is probably good that it did happen that way. I have learned so much from all of this.

At what point did you feel that you were “back”? At what point did you feel emotionally and spiritually strong again?

I can tell you that when I felt whole again was when God put Marcy (his current wife) in my life. We had met years before and it was a big old story where she just felt God wanted her with me. She prayed for me. We had lost contact over the years but I ran into her at a concert in Ohio of all places. That is when God set up my path for recovery. I was awake. I was alive. I was better. I was coherent. I had seen her before but I wasn’t ready. It was a different set of circumstances. This took place right after I got out of rehab. I was absolutely not ready for that. She is 5′9″. I am 6′4″. When I went up to her when we saw each other for the next time and last time, I felt, even today when I think about that moment, it was as if I was looking up to her. She was just that big to me.

How do I know that all of what you are telling me is for real? Why can I believe you?

I know people will hear what I say and may discount it. But I know people can see it in my eyes. I know people can see that I am different by what they see in my eyes. My life is just different.

It doesn’t matter. I have nothing to hide. I have no one else to blame. I have nothing else but myself to show. I am not doing anything to try to pull anything on anybody because I don’t have anything to pull. I have what I have and that is what is in my heart. I think that it shines through my eyes. I am so blessed with where my life is today.

Through the last decade plus, this ordeal you have been through, what has God shown you? What has He revealed to you?

That He is faithful and just. He loves us no matter what. If we are at the top of our game or on the couch hours away from death, He still loves us and is still calling us. He wants us to come home. He wants us to somehow understand that He knows best and that we tend to want to take over. We all want to drive. God made the road. He is the maker of the road. He knows where He is going and all we have to do is follow Him. But so many times we think we have got it and then we crash and burn. That is what happened to me. I love to sing “Jesus Loves Me” in my concerts now. If people hear anything they need to hear that song. We serve a God of a second chance. I’m living proof of that.

Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day
The soldiers tried to clear the narrow street
But the crowd pressed in to see
The Man condemned to die on Calvary

He was bleeding from a beating, there were stripes upon His back
And He wore a crown of thorns upon His head
And He bore with every step
The scorn of those who cried out for His death

Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King,
But He chose to walk that road out of
His love for you and me.
Down the Via Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary.

Por la Via Dolorosa, triste dia en Jerusalem
Los saldados le abrian paso a Jesus
Mas la gente se acercaba
Para ver al que llevaba aquella cruz

Por la Via Dolorosa, que es la via del dolor
Como oveja vino Cristo, Rey, Senor
Y fue El quien quiso ir por su amor por ti y por mi
Por la Via Dolorosa al Calvario y a morir

The blood that would cleanse the souls of all men
Made its way through the heart of Jerusalem.

Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King
But He chose to walk that road out of His love for you and me
Down the Via Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary.

I was playing last week with Sean on the keys and towards the end of the YA service we had a few members leaving, some to Australia, some outstation for work placement. Amidst Pastor Julie’s voice, I heard the faint tinkling of a song that brings back memories of a time when we-the youth of GTPJ-were preparing our great adventure overseas, stepping past the threshold of adulthood and all that lay beyond, with excitement barely contained. I was a little surprised that most of the younger musicians were completely at loss with this song, a song that can rightfully stake its claim as the song of our generation, the voice of the close bond all of us have, forged in happiness, strengthened further in sorrows.

In each farewell, some even in airports, we played this song. Temporary farewells to meet again in the future; and farewells from this earth to also meet again one day.

And I remembered playing this song on the guitar as a few of his closest friends spent the final night sleeping over in his place, as he peacefully rests before taken away in the morning, to be reunited on that glorious day in the future.

I hope this song doesn’t fade with our generation but continues to drive the message of fellowship and friendship to the young people of GTPJ. Here is the rendition of ‘Friends Forever’ by the biggest names in CCM: Amy Grant, Steven Curtis Chapman, Michael Tait, Point of Grace, Mac Powell, Anointed, Avalon, Joy Williams and of course, the original singer, Michael W. Smith.

Friends Forever

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can’t believe the hopes He’s granted
Means a chapter of your life is through

But we’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone
‘Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends

And with the faith and love God’s given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show

We’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone
‘Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends

There are 2 songs that we might be doing for easter:

1. In Christ Alone

Download here (R-Click, Save As)

2. Time that is Left

Download here (R-Click, Save As)

For some reason, this song has just been looping for the past week (and I suppose a good part of this week too). My car is really boring, I tend to loop a song over and over and over again and don’t hear anything else. I don’t recall the last time I listened to radio (except for the short 2 seconds when changing CDs), and I think I’ve listened to this song like a few hundred times already since last week.

Mike is a pastor in Planetshakers Church in Melbourne but has been diagnosed since last year with blood disorder. I did some research on it and it seems that he has always been faced with physical ailments, and he is still in his 20s. Some said it was stage 3 leukemia and gave him only a short time to live. The recent update on his myspace goes like this:

“HEY GUYS!!!! INCREDIBLE NEWS!!!! THE HEALING PROCESS HAS BEGUN!!!! TODAY I WENT TO JOHN WESLEYS CHAPEL IN BRISTOL. AS I STOOD IN WESLEYS PULPIT GODS POWER TOUCHED MY BODY!!!! TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT. I LEFT MY WHEELCHAIR THERE!!!! MY BACK IS HEALED, MY HIPS ARE HEALED, MY LEGS ARE HEALED!!!! I STILL HAVE PAIN IN MY UPPER BODY BUT IT HAS STARTED!!!! PRAISE AND GLORY TO THE KING OF ALL KINGS!!!! MY SAVIOUR, MY PORTION, MY FREEDOM, MY HEALER!!!!!”

Amazing song, amazing testimony!

“Healer” — Mike Guglielmucci

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
Jesus You’re all I need

My Healer, You’re my Healer

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Here’s another song I’ve been looping through this week. The lyrics are extremely powerful, and makes me wonder, does God play a part in my daily life?

In our speaking? What words were said during that tough meeting this week?

In our waiting? While waiting for your niece to come into this world.

In our laughing? The good fun you had on the golf course.

In our weeping? When you lose someone you love.

In our hurting? When you close yourself to the world.

In our healing? When you are restored.

There’s a youtube clip based on this song as well:

Everything
Tim Hughes

Verse 1:
God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Chorus:
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

Verse 2:
God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Bridge:
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

This song by Casting Crowns continues to remind of a thought that I’ve been going through for the past few weeks. That our life is fleeting, as 1 Peter 1:24 puts it:

“All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord stands forever.”

And again, in James 4:14

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

It’s a reminder that our lives, our achievements, our ‘glory’ are but temporary adornments. Flowers that withers away. Our ambitions are like vapor in the wind. Note that the Bible never tells us to forsake ambitions, or work or pursuits. It is Biblical for us to work, to have ambitions:

Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. — Proverbs 10:4

If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks — Ecclesiastes 10:18

Yet, it reminds us that our life here, 80 - 90 years, relative to eternity is truly like a mist. As flowers in a single season. As a wave tossed in the ocean, crashing into the sand, replaced by another, and another.

I was reminded if we are so insignificant, how much greater the love of God is to suffer for us. That the Lord of All Creation, of all the Heavens and the Earth, would choose to die a brutal death for us. He rose again, but what Jesus went through, none of us can imagine. Though He is God, He felt the pain as we would feel it. He hates sin, yet chose to take on the sins of creation and become the lamb for slaughter.

As we go through our daily grind, let’s not have illusions of our own greatness that we are blinded to the age of grace that we’ve been given. Never replace God’s mercy with our own glory. It’s good to be successful, it’s good to pursue wealth, but do so for the Lord’s glory (1 Peter 4:11b:”so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.”)

If we have to sacrifice our faith or our walk with God in order for us to be successful, to make money, and to be wealthy, we’re replacing our invitation to God’s banquet with thrash food thrown out in the dark. It’s the ultimate shortchange, throwing away our eternal heritage with God for a temporal glory with Man.

Above all, remind ourselves of our place with Christ. Yes, we are accepted, yes, we have been redeemed. But we never deserved it. It is simply His grace that covers our sins.

Verse 1
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Pre Chorus
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Verse 2
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me

Bridge
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
‘Cause I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Here’s an email and song to the worship team I’d like to share:

Hi Team,

Songs for this Saturday:

1) Amazed
2) With You
3) Cry
4) Unto You

Prac is on Thursday, at 8 pm. I know its early but I hope to finish off early too. Pls let me know if you cannot make it. The songs are in gtworship@gmail.com.

The first song has been on my mind for some time. One because of the lyrics, which I initially found strange: “You dance over me, when I am unaware, You sing all around but i never heard a sound”. I’m like, really?

In Zephaniah 3:17 (same verse as Mighty To Save), we see that

“He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.”

I think its cool that our God actually does that. And does he dance? We dance for him right, when does he ever dances over us?

In Luke 10:21, the word ‘rejoiced greatly’ is derived from the word agalliao, which means, to exult, or jump for joy, and skipping, mainly found in Psalms, dancing. So JC wasn’t just a serious, unapproachable guy. I believe he laughed a lot, danced in the Spirit, joked around with his disciples and probably had a really nice smile (ever had children approaching a guy who looks like The Grinch?).

It’s truly a beautiful song, and when you think about it, “I am amazed by You, how you love me”, have we ever considered not just what an Awesome God He is, but how personal He also remains to us?

Brooke Fraser wrote this song, and we’ve sung it in GTPJ a couple of times. There are two versions we tried out:

This is the one that I liked, simply because of the ridiculous amount of airtime for the guitar…hehe.

This is the United version that is more suitable to GTPJ’s ummm, traditional aural palate.

Hosanna
Verse 1
I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We’re on our knees, we’re on our knees

Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity